Dirty Hipster Chick

I’m so hipster….

 ….because I spent all night listening to my cats run around my apartment fighting, then I woke up and wrote a shitty song on my ukulele about it. 

…. I actually have to wear perscription glasses.

… I always drink from the carton, whatever the carton is. 

…..my doodles are actually ART. (check out my etsy shop biatch)

…..my band already has an album you’ll never hear, with 32 sweet cool jams.

….my snot is almost always a different color because I snort pixie sticks NOT cocaine. 

….I only watch videos online in HD (ew….youtube? hellooooo vimeo!)

….I can complain about almost everything, on command. 

….I’m not actually a hipster, geez, what’s your problem!

Happiness is….

Not this. 

Butt-watching

I feel like I am an exceptionally observant person. Like, abnormally observant.

Because when I am out walking, I unfailingly make eye contact with multiple strangers’ butt cracks.

Granted, I do live in South of Market San Francisco, and there are probably a higher percentage of unbeknownst publicly displayed butt cracks in SOMA than there are in say, North Berkeley.  

The other day, I was walking home from Van Ness Station, crossing the street at 11th and Market, and I swear, the normal person wouldn’t have seen this, but a woman half-way down the block towards Van Ness and Mission had full backside, thong exposure going on.

I find myself on a bus noticing how saggy the dude sitting next to me’s pants are, and I can’t stop myself from watching him get up and exit the bus, knowing his pants are in the red zone for public crack exposure.

Not that this is something I look forward to. It’s something  I can’t seem to control. Everyone has asses. Most people go about their daily lives oblivious of major the faux pas they are committing, all day long.

I just can’t help noticing how disgusting everyone is. Let’s just get it straight right now; everyone is naked under their clothes, everyone picks their nose in their own privacy, we all are made of snot, piss and nasty smells.

I suppose if the world was one giant nudist colony, these things wouldn’t be so noticeable. 

I think I might like being a nudist for a day. But the thought of seeing other people naked, isn’t exactly something I would look forward to. At all. Ever.

5/24 @ The Knockout

The Knockout is always full of spritely hip young things when it’s a Smile night. Last night, the bill at the Knockout was jammed tight with Dark Sun Sky Pilot, Harry Merry, The Bitter Honeys and The Shalants, with in house Dj Neil Martinson keeping the mood upbeat inbetween sets. 

            Dark Sun Sky Pilot played a moody set, bouncing between psychedelic rock and classic rock licks. Each song contained a bluesy twist that made their music more raw and carnal. The hypnotic head nodding combined with the melodic guitar riffs and heavy rhythm put the crowd into a deep lull which lasted sweetly until the next act,  Harry Merry.

            Harry Merry(http://www.myspace.com/harry9merry) is a tall blonde Dutchman hailing from Rotterdam who sported a fashionable khaki jumpsuit for his set.  His electronic euro-pop, played solely through his Roland Juno-D, was like a chorus full of alley cats singing through vocorders.  Harry bounced up and down like a  smiling clown on a carrousel.  The act was hard to sit through. Harry Merry is like a electronic 21^st century version of Schoenberg with deep male vocals, tons of content and no listener satisfaction.  But, his stage presence and one song in particular, “Jailbirds Keep Your Hands Off Ms. Hilton” (which is available to stream on Harry’s myspace), will stand the test of time in my memory.

            The Bitter Honeys had matching sequin dresses that made them look like Disney Princesses. Ironically, all their songs have no happy ending it seems. The down beat girls are like the sad ghosts of The Supremes lingering around the taunt audiences with the way things used to be.  The cute, girly aura The Bitter Honeys exuded made for a enrapt crowd, eager to enjoy the sweet harmonies kissing their ears. The dreamy look in the trios’ eyes matched the sparkling classic sounds they were crooning, sending everyone on the dance floor through a 50s flashback dream.

            The Shalants kept the dreamy atmosphere that The Bitter Honeys created, and put a psychedelic spin on it. Their music has a groovy and suave caress that would fit seamlessly on a James Bond soundtrack.  Lead singer Miller Carr has a rich and deep voice that hypnotized the crowd during their second song, “When It Comes”, off of their album “Passage Through Wilderness vol. II”(http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=19550440&albumid=10972444).  The album is full of songs that demand dancing the twist. The evening ended in a haze. The cool, swank atmosphere lifted, and everyone was out in the cold outer Mission wondering what trippy time hole they had fallen out of. 

30 Seconds to Mars and Mute Math @ Fox Theater

30 Seconds to Mars, Mute Math, Neon Trees 
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Fox Theater

The audience at last night’s 30 Seconds to Mars show at the Fox Theater was overwhelmingly young. Even the lead singer in the opening band, Neon Trees, noticed. During his set, Tyler Glenn asked the crowd, “Who here is barely out of high school?” The response was phenomenally loud.

Neon Trees kicked off the night with a fast-paced set of electro-pop that got everyone dancing. Fans sang along to their single “Animal,” which has a chorus that stays lodged in your brain. The real star of their performance was the drummer, though, Elaine Bradley. She wailed on her kit like a blacksmith on an anvil, and she sang back-up vocals too. For his part, Glenn danced around the stage twirling his microphone above his head like a lasso, nearly hitting some of his band members. During their last song, he started frantically gesturing to the side of the stage while singing, and a guilty looking Tomo Milicevic, guitarist for 30 Seconds to Mars, stepped out from behind the curtains to share center stage for part of a chorus before zipping off stage again.

The second band, Mute Math, is a New Orleans-based rock act that stole the evening. Their set was so epic, 30 Seconds to Mars couldn’t recover from it. 

The first thing Mute Math’s drummer, Darren King, did after getting behind his kit was duct tape his headphones to his head, to the delight of the audience. There was a bullhorn strategically placed next to the kit that King occasionally screamed into. Later in the set, he opened a bottle of water mid-song and doused his kit with it, causing giant eruptions of water every time he hit a beat.

The band also had two sets of keyboard rigs, a Rhodes set up center stage, and a dual synthesizer package off to the left. Mute Math’s members switched instruments at different points during their show. 

The singer, Paul Meany, had such a sultry voice that it made his songs “Chaos” and “The Fight” sing like old jazz standards remixed to a hip, electronic dance pulse. He busted out a keytar for a couple songs, and then swapped it for a strange stylophone instrument that looked homemade and produced alien-like frequencies.

Mute Math’s set built to a gargantuan climax by the end. Meany somersaulted over his Rhodes and then proceeded to stomp his feet on the keys. King tore apart his kit and placed his rack and floor drums on top of the Rhodes, and played a solo that sounded like it came from a drum line.

After Mute Math’s cacophonous set, 30 Seconds to Mars came off quite tame, even though the light show was intense enough to induce seizures. Jared Leto rocked a pink mohawk and Kanye sunglasses while he belted out hits from the band’s second album, A Beautiful Lie. (The band kept its set fairly mixed, with songs off old albums, as well as all the new songs from This Is War, which was just released last year.) For dramatic effect, Leto unleashed a handheld spotlight, which he shined on the audience, partially blinding and stunning his fans. 

Overall, 30 Seconds’ performance was too overshadowed by Mute Maths’. Leto dropped f-bombs profusely in his stage banter, and lacked the enthusiasm that his other band mates showed during songs. 

However, die-hard fans in the crowd were blissed out. You couldn’t understand a single word Leto said, but the entire audience sang along with him word for word. At the end of the night, you could still hear people singing different 30 Seconds to Mars tunes as they were leaving the theater

Tenacious D and Trainwreck’s John Konesky!

John Konesky is satanically good at playing guitar. He’s even played the anti-Christ in pastTenacious D tours with Jack Black and Kyle Gass. Currently, he’s gigging with Gass’s other band, Trainwreck, whose debut full-length, The Wreckoning, came out last year. The group has an over the top, outrageous music video for their song “Brodeo,” (see below), where they coin a couple new words for their “brocabulary.” The song is considered Trainwreck’s “manthem.” 

Trainwreck comes to town on May 29th for a show at Bottom of the Hill. Konesky chatted with All Shook Down about film scoring, carpentry, and guitar shredding.

Did you play with Tenacious D last year at the Outside Lands?

I did, yeah.

How was that?

It was amazing. United Airlines lost my pedal board flying in. So I had make due with some gear I didn’t really know anything about. I was kinda thrust in front of 80,000 people with, yeah, not my own gear. But it was fun! Fortunately we had the greatest team of technicians and management there could ever be, so they took all the worry away. 

You guys were kind of a last minute addition to Outside Lands.

Yeah, and I think there was a little bit of an uproar about that too. It was probably because, I wanna say there were more hip-hop fans there because we were taking the Beastie Boys’ place.

How did you get your Trainwreck alias, John Bartholomew Shredman?

John Bartholomew Shredman came from Kyle. Originally it was “Shreddy,” just cause I like to play a lot of notes, quickly.

What’s your solo album, Kones, like?

It’s really just some instrumentals. I’m a really big fan of instrumental acoustic, finger-style guitar. It’s spawned out of my interest in scoring films. Ideally, I’d like to get into [film scoring] more.

Have you had a song in a movie?

I’ve had a couple things. I’ve got one piece in the D’s documentary [D Tour: A Tenacious Documentary] and then I actually just scored this short film called Manos De Madre, which is about these women in Guatemala that live around a garbage dump. They basically work in the garbage dump. It’s a really emotional thing. The director’s name is Greg Kwedar. It’s a really cool piece, and these women are just the strongest human beings you will ever find on the planet. It was a fun thing to score, just a lot of kinda carrying the mood, you know.

Do you have any summer plans?

Well, we were gonna do some Trainwreck dates but we pulled the plug to record some new stuff. So I think we’re gonna be in the studio. I think we wanna try to do a follow-up EP. So we’ll do Bonnaroo with the D and then come back and record.

What was the inspiration behind “Brodeo”?

“Brodeo” was a song that came out of personal experience, out of my futile attempts at throwing parties, when just my male friends would show up. So, we decided to coin a term and write a song.

What’s your favorite song off Wreckoning?

I think “The Drummer” is my favorite song. Nate Rothacker, our drummer—or Dallas St. Bernard as he’s called in Trainwreck—is an awesome talent, and he has a great voice. We wanted some excuse to get him out front for a song, and then to sort of explain the plight of the drummer, that secretly they all want to be frontmen, but they’re hidden behind cymbals in their little cage in the back. None of them get a chance to break out. It’s a fun song to do live too cause I think Nate is pretty much a professional dancer at this point. He’s quite accomplished.

So when you’re not doing film scoring and running around with Tenacious D or Trainwreck, what do you like to do?

I like to, um, well, honestly and kind of boringly, I like to build things out of wood.

You’re a carpenter?

I am an amateur carpenter. Amateur at best.

What have you made?

I just built two chaise lounges for our patio! And they are structurally sound.

One last question, who’s funnier in person, Jack [Black] or Kyle?

Oh man, that’s a tough one. I mean, Jack is an alien, I don’t think he’s of this planet, and he is outrageously funny in just normal conversation. I don’t even know that he necessarily needs to try anymore. He just kinda oozes funniness. Its just part of his personality. But, that being said, Kyle has this kind of wit that, like, he’ll get you every now and again, and you won’t stop laughing for days. They’re totally perfect for each other. There is no doubt in my mind why everything happened for them the way that it did, it’s just amazing.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force LIVE!

Hearing the voices of the beloved characters from Adult Swim’s popular late night television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force come from two middle aged men was a little baffling, yet completely hilarious and enchanting. Co-creators/conspirators Dave Willis and Dana Snyder have taken their cult-hit-turned-mainstream comedy cartoon and turned it into a live stage show, performed last night at the Regency Ballroom. With the help of puppet designer James Wojtal, Willis and Snyder have brought their characters Master Shake (a talking milkshake with small yellow fins that serve as hands), Frylock (a flying, bearded container of fries), Meatwad (a hamburger patty with a speech impediment) and Carl (the bald, fat schlub who lives next door) to life.

The show is a smorgasbord of skits, video clips and stand-up bits. Willis and Snyder also included sketches from their other Adult Swim television program Squidbillies, a show about a ragtag family of red neck squids. They subjected the audience to a voluntary form of torture where they chose one person to come on stage and read aloud the steps to make Grandma Squid’s famous red snapper recipe. Dana Snyder controlled the cute and senile pink squid puppet, who sat on his victim’s shoulder and sensuously caressed his face with a pink tentacle and making insinuating remarks the entire time.

The important third character of the Aqua Teen trio, Frylock, voiced by Carey Means, was unavailable to join in on the tour. So, Willis and Snyder set up a “live satellite feed” with Means who was engaged in his bathroom at the time of the link-up. Halfway through the question and answer interview with Means, the boom in the camera falls on Means head, and Dave Willis’s head pops into the screen apologizing. The audience erupted with laughter while the on-stage Willis struggled to convince Synder that it still actually was a “live feed”.

Early in the show, Dave Willis brought out a miniature puppet of Carl out to do a sketch entitled “Carl’s Regional Beef”, where Carl rants about the various things he hates about San Francisco. Carl was not impressed with San Francisco’s historical music scene and felt that if Moby Grape had been named Glass Cobra, he might’ve listened to it. The winner of the Carl look-a-like contest that occurred last year, sat on the side of the stage most of the night haw-hawing and chiming in at appropriate moments.

Dana and Dave performed the song “I Sure Hope I Don’t have to Beat Your Ass This Christmas” off their Aqua Teen Hunger Force Christmas album, Have Yourself a Meaty Little Christmas to the cacophonous laughter coming from the audience. The album was not released in stores. Later on in the show, they aired a music video from the album, Carl singing a contemporary version of the heart-warming “I’ll be home for Christmas”, which is nothing like the original song.

When the “Show Me Your Meatwad” portion of the show began, a handful of audience members were picked from a crowd of volunteers to get on stage and give their best Meatwad impression. After two rounds, everyone on stage had received a congratulatory red plastic drink cup and a long sweaty hug from the real life Carl look-a-like. No one was really sure who won, but it seemed like everyone did. After the competition was over Dana Snyder and Dave Willis threw out promotional frisbees, trucker hats and DVDs to the audience who snatched in the air like piranha in a feeding frenzy.

The show was so dense with material, it ran almost like an exercise class. The last part of the evening was spent watching two completely new, never-before-seen episodes of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Squidbillies. Dave Willis and Dana Snyder are up to their usual tom-foolery, both episodes were full of potty-mouthed, sexually depraved cartoon characters. After the screening, Snyder and Willis came on stage one last time to sing an improvised fare-well tune that lasted a grand total of three lines. But, the audience lapped every little bit of it up, and left the ballroom tittering and giggling into the night.

Q & A with Dead Weather’s Jack Lawrence

Jack Lawrence is a hard working rock ‘n’ roller. He’s so busy with his bands—The Dead Weather, The Raconteurs, and The Greenhornes—that he he hardly has the time to sleep. The Dead Weather, who are coming to town this week to play two shows at the Fillmore on Thursday and Friday, have a new album, Sea of Cowards, coming out on May 10th. Lawrence’s oldest group, The Greenhornes, also have a new album set to release sometime this summer. In a rare moment of rest between trips from Tokyo to San Francisco, the Dead Weather bassist found time to chat with All Shook Down from his current digs in Nashville.

How did the Dead Weather come into existence?

Well The Raconteurs were on tour with the Kills, and Jack [White] had just finished his studio. After the last show we just decided to grab Alison [Mosshart] and take her back to Nashville. We were just going to do a 45, but once we got into the studio, we started writing and writing and all of a sudden we had an album.

Who came up with the name “The Dead Weather”?

We don’t have a good story about it. We don’t really remember who came up with it—I think maybe Jack [White].

What do you like to do when you’re in San Francisco?

Hang out with my friends. They took my sightseeing once. I had been there a lot and I finally got them to take me to the Golden Gate Bridge and stuff like that, it was nice. We have some good friends there. Also been to a few record stores.

Did you go to Amoeba?

Yeah, I really like Amoeba. We played all of the [Amoeba stores] in one day once.

Any favorite haunts here in town?

There’s a few bars, a couple in the mission I like, like Doc’s Clock. I like that club the Bottom of the Hill.

What’s your favorite city to play in so far?

Um, I don’t know. As far as crowds, Mexico City was really good. They’re excited. I guess maybe not a lot of American bands come down there. They’re always really excited to see rock n’ roll music. We had a really good show in Paris last year and we just had a really good show in Japan too, in Tokyo.

Alison Mosshart is a very theatrical performer, is she like that off stage too?

No, not too much theatrics or drama, not really. She smokes, she laughs, she writes in her little book all the time.

What’s the Dead Weather songwriting process like?

It’s all of us writing. It’s more like the studio is the fifth member of the band, at Jack’s [White] studio here in Nashville. It’s small, there’s only two rooms, there’s a tracking room and the control room. So when we get together and record it’s all of us live and in the tracking room. Usually it’s someone coming up with the basic structure or riff for the song and then we all throw in stuff and build from that. It’s interesting because it’s different than most bands, just throwing everything into a pot and seeing what happens.

What’s the new album like?

It’s a little more aggressive then the last one.

The new music video, “Die by the Drop,” is awesome, did Jack direct it?

No, Floria Sigismondi did it. I can never say her name, but she’s directed a couple videos for us before. She did the “Blue Orchids” video for the White Stripes, and she did the “Broken Boy Soldier” video for the Racontuers. It was great, we didn’t have a lot of time to do it, but we did it at Third Man records, and we just did it one day. We didn’t have too many ideas floating around, we just kinda worked with the costumes we had.

Are we going to hear from The Raconteurs again?

Yeah. It’s just whenever we’re all ready to do it again. Brendan’s [Benson] been out on solo stuff. He’s also getting ready to have a baby, next week I think. He and Patrick [Keeler] are playing at Record Store Day this Saturday down at Third Man here in Nashville. They call it ‘The Racontwoers.”

I’ve also heard about a new Greenhornes album, what’s happening with that?

It’s finished. We’re trying to get it out this summer hopefully. We’re getting a couple shows lined up too. There’s already one that we’re going to do in New York.

How are you going to balance all your time between the Dead Weather, the Raconteurs, and the Greenhornes?

We’re always pretty busy, I don’t know. I think that’s a good place to be. You know, I don’t like sitting around too much.

I also saw that you were an unaccredited band member backing up Karen O on the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack. How did that come together?

Oh yeah, she just called me. She was getting a group together. I guess Spike [Jonze] had asked her to do the score for the movie and Dean [Fertita] played on it too. I’ve been friends with Karen for a while now. We’ve always done a couple things here and there, but this is like the first real big thing. It took a while. We worked here and there, maybe two to three years, off and on. 

What’s Karen like?

Karen’s great. We’ve always gotten along. She’s really creative. She’ll have great melodies all the time. It’s really inspiring to work with her.

What’s your favorite song off the new Dead Weather album?

I don’t know. It’s hard to say right now. Of the ones we’ve been playing live, I like the song called “Hussle and Cuss.” It’s a little more abstract, almost with some soul and thrown in, with some Captain Beefheart.

How did the name, Sea of Cowards come about?

Jack [White] came up with that. I think it’s just about how people wear masks a lot these days. There’s a lot of stuff like that on the Internet now. It seems like you’re surrounded by people, everyone seems to have an opinion about stuff that no one wants to put a name or face with their opinion.